By: Kris Hudson
Each day, the statistics on domestic violence get more and more
horrifying. A woman is beaten every 15 seconds, 22 to 35 percent of emergency
room visits from women are because of ongoing partner abuse, 1 in 4 pregnant
women have a history of partner violence, and 63 percent of young men between
the ages of 11 and 20 are in jail for murdering their mothers abuser. Also
domestic violence is the leading cause of injuries to women between 15 and 44.
All these statistics prove that domestic violence is a big problem in our
Battering in a relationship is the establishment of control and fear
through violence and other forms of abuse. The batterer will use acts of
violence and goes through a series of behaviors, including intimidation, threats,
psychological abuse, isolation, etc. to control the other person. The violence
in the relationship may not happen often but it remains a hidden and terrorizing
There are many people among us that are battered or have been battered.
This problem is very sensitive and embarrassing. Some indicators that a woman
is being abused are:
the woman mentions not being able to use the phone
she cannot see friend unless her significant other is around
her significant other will not let her drive, get a job,
or go to school
look for low self-esteem like she is unable to make
eye contact or she always looks away or at the ground when
Some indicators that a male child is being abused are:
serious problems with temper tantrums
continual fighting at school or between siblings
treating pets cruelly or abusively
attempting to get attention by hitting, kicking, or choking
with female children:
withdrawal (not obvious)
cringing if you raise your arm
Batterings in the home usually don’t start out with abuse. The spouse
will use verbal abuse, hit objects, throw objects, break objects, and making
threats. When these actions start, in almost 100 percent of the cases, the
significant other resorts to battering. After the woman gets sick of the
battering and decides to leave he will almost definitely try to get her back.
There are five different ways he will try to get the woman back. One way is for
him to bribe the woman into coming back, this is known as the honeymoon syndrome.
The superdad syndrome is used when kids are involved and he has neglected them
in the past. He will tell her that he will be a great dad if she returns.
Another is known as the revival syndrome he will say that he has been to church
every Sunday since the woman left and say that he has accepted god into his life.
Next is the sobriety syndrome, the woman will think if he stops drinking he
will stop beating me. The last is counseling syndrome, he will say he has been
to counseling and will not beat her anymore when about one percent actually go
What all this means is that we have a big problem on our hands that
needs to be addressed and taken care of immediately. This cannot go on any